Today was a good day. I forgot what that even felt like. Maybe it’s because I called out of work yesterday. Taking a breather definitely helped. Right now, I’m working two jobs, five days a week at both, and the exhaustion is catching up to me. I don’t get a day off, and it’s draining. But today, I didn’t feel overwhelmed. Work was just… work. Not great, not terrible. I guess that’s a win in itself.
In the evenings and weekends, I work at a restaurant, and during the weekdays, I’m a special ed teacher. Balancing these two jobs is tough, to say the least. But today, for once, I didn’t feel sad or angry. I wouldn’t say I was happy either, but “blah” is better than the usual emotional whirlwind, right?
One thing that made today stand out was a conversation I had with my partner. It was an emotional one. He came home and apologized—really apologized. He talked about how he treated me when I was pregnant, how much damage he had done to me during that time. It was… cathartic. Seeing him acknowledge my pain, seeing him feel hurt because of the pain he caused—it felt good. I wanted him to feel that, to really understand the weight of it.
I asked him what had caused this sudden change of heart. He told me about a girl at work who announced her pregnancy today. Her boyfriend was there too (we all work together). My partner congratulated them, but her boyfriend suddenly revealed that they weren’t planning to keep the baby. And my partner saw it—the look of sadness and hurt on her face. It struck him hard. He realized that’s how I must have felt when I was going through it all, and that hit home for him.
She confided in him about the pain she’s been carrying, and it made him reflect on everything he had put me through. It feels like a small victory, knowing he’s beginning to understand. I want him to truly feel the weight of the hurt he caused me. Maybe this is the first step in the right direction—towards healing, for both of us.
I don’t know what comes next, but today was a start.
The Fourth Trimester 